Good intentions have failed once again. I have thought about blogging frequently and then the whir of life starts back up and off i go. but here on a lazy saturday i get the chance to put a few thoughts down.
Life as of late is filled with wedding preperations:
decorations
invitations
dresses
plane tickets
pre-marital counseling
finding time to spend with jordan, quality time
getting all of our finances in order
work on the mindset of being married
so much to do!!!
just yesterday i had a lovely lady tell me that i need to plan and prepare for our marriage even more so than i am for the wedding day. and that was some incredible advice.
as i have discovered, planning the wedding is not the epitame of life, filled with fun and giggles, and excitement, the picture of the day a girl dreams of her whole life. rather i have found it to be frusterating, stressful, and at times downright unenjoyable.
I'm hoping that i'm just getting all of that out of the way now so it all can be fun when feb 6th finally rolls around.
i can't imagine stretching this out of a year like some people do. the short engagement has another perk to it, short torturous planning time! haha!
no it's not that bad, it is nice to make progress and the idea of having a fun filled special day is great. it'll be nice when it finally comes! all the family home together, even if for only a few days.
i feel so ready for another missions trip. usually it takes me a bit longer. it's been just 6 months and i've been jonesin' for another adventure. i know that right now the adventure at hand is getting married and working on building our relationship. but we are both built for missions and thus it's hard to not have one on the horizon. we keep trying to plan things but the door keeps being shut. another reason why we should stay focused on one thing at a time. :) it's just so hard not to want to run ahead.
but one thing i've been really trying to focus on is something i heard a missionary say. His name is Marcello and he smuggles 10s of thousands of bibles into Iran. He said 2 things that really stuck with me. First, God is all about the details. He has so many details planned out htat we could never know about. We need to trust Him with those and listen! Second; God loves to surprise us. We should let Him!
2 things i really want to learn! that's the new focus for me with the wedding. it could be strictly a tedious and boring thing i'm doing, or I can let God lead me to and through the details and allow Him to surprise me along the way. I just need to stop trying to figure everything out right now!!! Kinda hard, but it just may pay off.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
His will, here with us
so here is my opinion. i rarely talk politics, in fact i usually respond the subject with an eye roll a sigh and a swift exit. but here i will tell you what i think.
i think that our country is FINALLY coming back. it is an uncomfortable way, but it's working. peoples values are changing, it isn't all materialism anymore. people are once again realizing the importance of family and friends and time at home. that it's not about how big our tv is but who's around it. there is an allstate commercial on lately that talks about this. that it's not our car that says how far we've come, but what gets us to where we are going....and strictly by miles, not status. people are staying home, saving money, and experiencing the this incredible thing called family that has been neglected and abused for so long.
this is not a recession in my opinion. it is people's values changing. yes people are getting layed off, but when has that not happened? you know what it is? it is fear. people start whispering the evil "r" word and all the sudden we are in the dreaded state of recession. we are in the state we are in because we the people are taking our cue from that stupid tv and the media. we need to stop following the fad of having everything and appreciating what we have. and it's starting.
i understand this is a hard time for people, i know all to well the struggle of unemployment, it has hit close to home. but it's not strictly a result of "the recession". i just heard of a small town in N. dakota that can't keep positions filled all across town. yes they aren't $60K a year jobs, but they are there. could it be that we may have to step out and be creative and determined and take the anitiative? could it be that the value of work ethic is returning?
unfortunately our country is so far in the whole we are practically owned by other countries. that really saddens me. i'd like to see our country get out of debt. can you imagine? talk about true freedom.
i am extremely proud of Sarah Palin. her stand has been so controversal, yes. but her morals have never changed and her recent step of resignation only speaks to our entire country. she is saying she won't pull a paycheck and fly around "wasting" the state's finances. can you imagine? that kind of leadership, the kind that is not selfish, that has higher standards, that stands up for what's right and speaks up when it is needed. that can laugh at itself and set an example of what we all can be if we desire to make a difference.
anyways!! i think i'm done with my opinionating...
to the troops i say thank youto our government officials, i'm praying for you and my God's wisdom and grace find you.to you my beloved friends and family, i pray that this day finds you full of peace and joy, blessed and full of the glory of God.
"may thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, amen."
i think that our country is FINALLY coming back. it is an uncomfortable way, but it's working. peoples values are changing, it isn't all materialism anymore. people are once again realizing the importance of family and friends and time at home. that it's not about how big our tv is but who's around it. there is an allstate commercial on lately that talks about this. that it's not our car that says how far we've come, but what gets us to where we are going....and strictly by miles, not status. people are staying home, saving money, and experiencing the this incredible thing called family that has been neglected and abused for so long.
this is not a recession in my opinion. it is people's values changing. yes people are getting layed off, but when has that not happened? you know what it is? it is fear. people start whispering the evil "r" word and all the sudden we are in the dreaded state of recession. we are in the state we are in because we the people are taking our cue from that stupid tv and the media. we need to stop following the fad of having everything and appreciating what we have. and it's starting.
i understand this is a hard time for people, i know all to well the struggle of unemployment, it has hit close to home. but it's not strictly a result of "the recession". i just heard of a small town in N. dakota that can't keep positions filled all across town. yes they aren't $60K a year jobs, but they are there. could it be that we may have to step out and be creative and determined and take the anitiative? could it be that the value of work ethic is returning?
unfortunately our country is so far in the whole we are practically owned by other countries. that really saddens me. i'd like to see our country get out of debt. can you imagine? talk about true freedom.
i am extremely proud of Sarah Palin. her stand has been so controversal, yes. but her morals have never changed and her recent step of resignation only speaks to our entire country. she is saying she won't pull a paycheck and fly around "wasting" the state's finances. can you imagine? that kind of leadership, the kind that is not selfish, that has higher standards, that stands up for what's right and speaks up when it is needed. that can laugh at itself and set an example of what we all can be if we desire to make a difference.
anyways!! i think i'm done with my opinionating...
to the troops i say thank youto our government officials, i'm praying for you and my God's wisdom and grace find you.to you my beloved friends and family, i pray that this day finds you full of peace and joy, blessed and full of the glory of God.
"may thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, amen."
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
the anatomy of a love letter
I have found love notes and letters to be such an amazing thing. Writing one is a completely different feeling and experience than reading one.
I find it humorous how when it is written while apart, they can be filled with small talk or things that don't really matter, but it's better to write about what's going on around you rather than the torment inside due to being apart.
Or there's the kind one writes out of an abundance of love while together. those are filled with details on the depth and reaches of their love. what they love about/in the other person, their hopes and dreams.
there's the short and sweet, simple and to the point. with the right timing, these can be the moste effective.
my personal favorite when it comes to the anatomy of a love letter is the closing lines. how do they sign off? there is usually a one liner in there that causes a deep breath and sigh. :) even in the toughest guy. :)
scented, tear stained, neatly folded, quickly scribbled, sent by mail, given in person, read aloud, read a hundred times...
words are so powerful, and when they are put on paper, there they are for good! and it means someone took the time to think about you and what they wanted to say and then wrote it down. it can be easier for some people. i articulate better when i write than when i talk.
one of my favorites are the unexpected notes left for an unsuspecting lovee. or there are the ones that just move you to you core. the kind that change you and how you view things.
i've been asking myself often lately, why is it so easy to be in love with a person, work on a relationship, spend time together, treasure their words...and yet i still struggle with the very same thing with God.
i was singing the song Who You Are and it talks about climbing the highest moutain, traveling the deepest valley to find out who God is. i've climbed high mountains and walked across huge valleys. and imagined...if i had to do that to be with Jordan, i wouldn't even hesitate. if i had to do that to be with God, i wouldn't hesitate either! it's just weird...maybe i shouldn't pair them so directly?
i believe relationships on earth are meant to teach us part of who God is and how we can relate to Him. and i've learned alot about this. just a thought train i hop on everyonce in awhile.
there's a song that goes
it's thoughts like these that plague my troubled mind while you're away.
or something like that...
I find it humorous how when it is written while apart, they can be filled with small talk or things that don't really matter, but it's better to write about what's going on around you rather than the torment inside due to being apart.
Or there's the kind one writes out of an abundance of love while together. those are filled with details on the depth and reaches of their love. what they love about/in the other person, their hopes and dreams.
there's the short and sweet, simple and to the point. with the right timing, these can be the moste effective.
my personal favorite when it comes to the anatomy of a love letter is the closing lines. how do they sign off? there is usually a one liner in there that causes a deep breath and sigh. :) even in the toughest guy. :)
scented, tear stained, neatly folded, quickly scribbled, sent by mail, given in person, read aloud, read a hundred times...
words are so powerful, and when they are put on paper, there they are for good! and it means someone took the time to think about you and what they wanted to say and then wrote it down. it can be easier for some people. i articulate better when i write than when i talk.
one of my favorites are the unexpected notes left for an unsuspecting lovee. or there are the ones that just move you to you core. the kind that change you and how you view things.
i've been asking myself often lately, why is it so easy to be in love with a person, work on a relationship, spend time together, treasure their words...and yet i still struggle with the very same thing with God.
i was singing the song Who You Are and it talks about climbing the highest moutain, traveling the deepest valley to find out who God is. i've climbed high mountains and walked across huge valleys. and imagined...if i had to do that to be with Jordan, i wouldn't even hesitate. if i had to do that to be with God, i wouldn't hesitate either! it's just weird...maybe i shouldn't pair them so directly?
i believe relationships on earth are meant to teach us part of who God is and how we can relate to Him. and i've learned alot about this. just a thought train i hop on everyonce in awhile.
there's a song that goes
it's thoughts like these that plague my troubled mind while you're away.
or something like that...
Thursday, June 11, 2009
A Diary Worth Reading, A Life Worth Knowing
do you ever wonder if you write a dairy/journal, one day people would want to read it? Or if someone told your life story, would people really want to hear it? I love to write and to journal and i have thought about this quite often.
would i want people to read my writings? when i write about love, hate, good, bad, choice words, childish entries that embarress me....would i really want people to have access to that? maybe....wouldn't that make me more human? more relatable, accessable? wouldn't that make me more real to those reading or listening?
I think about anne frank. i'm sure she never thought that people all across the world woult know her story, movies would be made and a simple reference to her name would result in a rush of stories, memories, visuals, etc. the invoktion of tenacity, hope, determination, faith, etc.
i would like to think that one day, my daughter would want to read the many journals i've kept since highschool. that maybe, they would help her. that she would be able to see me as someone who has been through the drama and struggles of life at that age. not just a mom who can't remember what it was like. i've realized that that is a HUGE misconception.
see i think there is so much people can get from eachother's expereinces. isn't that why we communicate? to relate, to learn, to feel connected? i dunno.
i just hope that my words will effect someone. whether it be through my journals, my blogs, my testimony, my life, i just want to know that i was able to help someone, change a life, brighten a day, and give hope. i'd be okay with that. :)
would i want people to read my writings? when i write about love, hate, good, bad, choice words, childish entries that embarress me....would i really want people to have access to that? maybe....wouldn't that make me more human? more relatable, accessable? wouldn't that make me more real to those reading or listening?
I think about anne frank. i'm sure she never thought that people all across the world woult know her story, movies would be made and a simple reference to her name would result in a rush of stories, memories, visuals, etc. the invoktion of tenacity, hope, determination, faith, etc.
i would like to think that one day, my daughter would want to read the many journals i've kept since highschool. that maybe, they would help her. that she would be able to see me as someone who has been through the drama and struggles of life at that age. not just a mom who can't remember what it was like. i've realized that that is a HUGE misconception.
see i think there is so much people can get from eachother's expereinces. isn't that why we communicate? to relate, to learn, to feel connected? i dunno.
i just hope that my words will effect someone. whether it be through my journals, my blogs, my testimony, my life, i just want to know that i was able to help someone, change a life, brighten a day, and give hope. i'd be okay with that. :)
Friday, May 15, 2009
The 5 people i met in Nepal/Thailand
Date: May 1, 2009
Time: Noonish
Location: Bangkok, Thailand Airport waiting for check-in to open.
There is a man in the Kathmandu, Nepal Airport who every day, all day, goes around the airport collecting and returning luggage carts. That is his job, his livelyhood. That is how he fills his day and feeds his family. He does it with speed, efficientcy, and skill. Yes, pushing carts does entail skill.
(current thought...there is always a lesson and a skill to be learned, even in the most degrading or ridiculous job. God always has a purpose. It is up to us to look for it and embrace it.)
There is a child in Bangkok, Thailand who everyday, makes his way to the same bridge to lay on the sidewalk, in the humidity and heat, with a cup in front of him. Yesterday someone gave him a toy truck. Today he wasn't laying on the ground, he was playing.
(Current thought - people are just waiting for us to pull our heads out of the clouds, they are waiting for us.)
There is a girl my age in Dhorpani, Nepal who spends her day cooking. Squatting on the floor of a dimly-lit, but emaculate kitchen, (or as emaculate as a dirt floor kitchen can be in a remote mountain village of Nepal.) she cooks and cleans, fetches water, washes clothes, and then cooks until either everyone is done eating or until she can no longer see. Yet, each time she greets me there is a smile filled with true joy.
(She was a born again Christian. Because of her I am newly challenged to find joy in any situation.)
There is a young man in Dhorpatan who had never heard of Jesus before we came and now is walking in the freedom of Christ. I watched him take down his family's Buddist prayer flags that same day. Minutes later in fact.
Time: Noonish
Location: Bangkok, Thailand Airport waiting for check-in to open.
There is a man in the Kathmandu, Nepal Airport who every day, all day, goes around the airport collecting and returning luggage carts. That is his job, his livelyhood. That is how he fills his day and feeds his family. He does it with speed, efficientcy, and skill. Yes, pushing carts does entail skill.
(current thought...there is always a lesson and a skill to be learned, even in the most degrading or ridiculous job. God always has a purpose. It is up to us to look for it and embrace it.)
There is a child in Bangkok, Thailand who everyday, makes his way to the same bridge to lay on the sidewalk, in the humidity and heat, with a cup in front of him. Yesterday someone gave him a toy truck. Today he wasn't laying on the ground, he was playing.
(Current thought - people are just waiting for us to pull our heads out of the clouds, they are waiting for us.)
There is a girl my age in Dhorpani, Nepal who spends her day cooking. Squatting on the floor of a dimly-lit, but emaculate kitchen, (or as emaculate as a dirt floor kitchen can be in a remote mountain village of Nepal.) she cooks and cleans, fetches water, washes clothes, and then cooks until either everyone is done eating or until she can no longer see. Yet, each time she greets me there is a smile filled with true joy.
(She was a born again Christian. Because of her I am newly challenged to find joy in any situation.)
There is a woman somewhere along the Nepali trail who was carrying a calf on her back, all day, because it was too young to walk along the rugged, cliff-side trails. Maybe now she just walks behind it and watches her heard grow.
(Current thought - God often causes us to really work and carry the burden of our future. We have to wait and feed it and care for it, and then in His perfect timing, we will see the result of our 
toil. But sometimes it is just time to carry.)
toil. But sometimes it is just time to carry.)
There is a young man in Dhorpatan who had never heard of Jesus before we came and now is walking in the freedom of Christ. I watched him take down his family's Buddist prayer flags that same day. Minutes later in fact.
(Current thought - immediate responses are powerful. Being the first to represent Jesus to people was an amazing experience.)
There is a woman who still feels like a girl. She struggled her way through Nepal, its mountains, cities, villages, and weather. She has made it through and now has experienced Thailand and its charms and materialism. Now she is on her wa home to a distant world more familier that seems oh so far away.
....I am ready to go home...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Alaska's mountians, my mountains, never looked small before. Until i went to Nepal. Standing on a pass @ 10,000ft looking up at the Himalayas looming above me and looking bigger than anything i'd seen.
One never feels so small then when one is surrounded by the Himalayas painted green with rice patties dotted with brightly colored punjabis. Strings of donkey trains making their way down the cliffside-trails who you can hear coming because of their bells.
One never feels so small then when one is surrounded by the Himalayas painted green with rice patties dotted with brightly colored punjabis. Strings of donkey trains making their way down the cliffside-trails who you can hear coming because of their bells.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
to lose control and sucumb to the God of the volcano
it's amazing what God can use to teach us how to let go of the precious little control we have in our lives or to teach us to not be consumed by fear.
Recently with the volcano erupting there has been so many aspects of life effected. the biggest for me has been my trip to Nepal. I have been schedualed to fly out this saturday. this whole week has been a back and forth dance of should we drive to seattle? should we risk it and try and fly? cause is we do and we miss it, we're done for. so life has been a little wobbily all week. one minute we're driving the next we're not. i started getting really stressed out about this, losing sleep, rearranging my schedual just in case i pack up and leave the next day. it's been an interesting way of being.
fortunatly today i just decide once waking up at 6 am to check the status on the raging beast, i am going to trust my God that He is in control and will get me to Nepal. He is the God of that volcano so He can close it's mouth with one word. what do i have to worry about? so i am sticking to the plan, fly out on saturday for one of the biggest adventures of my life! hiking through the hymalayas!
but now that i'm really thinking about the way i've been living this week it parallels something we have been instructed to do.
Matthew 24:42-44
42 "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. 43 But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44 So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."
see i've learned from these past few days that we are called to wait on the edge of our seats, preparing, making sure we have done all we need to, and all the while resting in the peace God has promised us.
Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
so now i'm all curious...how different will my life be now that i know how to live in a constant state of readiness and excitment wrapped up in peace? will i suddenly stop focusing on the small insignifcant worries of my everyday life and start focusing on the things God has called me to do? i sure hope so.
so don't let the volcano grip you with fear, or the mountain set before you to climb. our God is bigger, our God is able, and our God is ALWAYS with us. pretty cool i think.
p.s. i attached some cool pics of Mount Redoubt and the website with updates, i find it interesting and helpful :)
Recently with the volcano erupting there has been so many aspects of life effected. the biggest for me has been my trip to Nepal. I have been schedualed to fly out this saturday. this whole week has been a back and forth dance of should we drive to seattle? should we risk it and try and fly? cause is we do and we miss it, we're done for. so life has been a little wobbily all week. one minute we're driving the next we're not. i started getting really stressed out about this, losing sleep, rearranging my schedual just in case i pack up and leave the next day. it's been an interesting way of being.
fortunatly today i just decide once waking up at 6 am to check the status on the raging beast, i am going to trust my God that He is in control and will get me to Nepal. He is the God of that volcano so He can close it's mouth with one word. what do i have to worry about? so i am sticking to the plan, fly out on saturday for one of the biggest adventures of my life! hiking through the hymalayas!
but now that i'm really thinking about the way i've been living this week it parallels something we have been instructed to do.
Matthew 24:42-44
42 "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. 43 But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44 So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."
see i've learned from these past few days that we are called to wait on the edge of our seats, preparing, making sure we have done all we need to, and all the while resting in the peace God has promised us.
Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
so now i'm all curious...how different will my life be now that i know how to live in a constant state of readiness and excitment wrapped up in peace? will i suddenly stop focusing on the small insignifcant worries of my everyday life and start focusing on the things God has called me to do? i sure hope so.
so don't let the volcano grip you with fear, or the mountain set before you to climb. our God is bigger, our God is able, and our God is ALWAYS with us. pretty cool i think.
p.s. i attached some cool pics of Mount Redoubt and the website with updates, i find it interesting and helpful :)
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